The List
by fanfic-chick-2002
Summary: Chapter Four Now Up. Monica is much worse. Read and Review.
1. How do I Live?

The List

  
**This part of the story comes in right at the end. It is sad, but all stories eventually end up sad, don't they? Please read and review. C/M, R/J (sorry.) Mona and Ross are together. But that isn't important.**

  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Friends, nor "How do I live" by Leanne Rimes.

  
**CHAPTER ONE**   
How do I live?

  
The sound of snow softly falling on the ground outside made Monica smile. Yet in her heart, she was crying as she drew the curtains. For she knew that watching the snow storm meant something else besides Christmas.   
She crept into Bessie and Emma's bedroom, closing the curtains and tucking the twins into bed. She stroked their hair, watching them as they drifted in and out of sleep on that magical evening. The 24th December. Maybe...though maybe not...her last.   
"Goodnight," she whispered softly. "I love you both." She knew her six-year-old daughters would not hear her, but maybe somewhere in their sub-conscious, something was stirring.   
She went out the room, closing the door behind her silently, and went to join her husband, who was sitting on the couch half-asleep. He woke a little when Monica approached him.   
"Asleep?" he grunted. Monica laughed a little, nodding her head.   
"Yeah, they're asleep," she said. "As should you be. The presents are under the tree. Remember that the gang are coming round tomorrow. I need to make sure the turkey-"   
"Monica," Chandler cut her off, looking worried. "Mon, no-one expects you to cook Christmas dinner. Not..."   
"...in my condition?" she finished it off, looking sad. "Chandler, please. Just forget about it. The kids will think it strange. It won't be the same. I'll let you help me, you know. Just let me forget about it for once. I want at least one more, nice, naïve Christmas with the gang."   
By "gang" she of course meant Rachel, Joey, and Rachel's little daughter Emma, Ross and Mona and Phoebe and perhaps, if Carol agreed for once, Ben. It did get confusing when two cousins had the same names. Emma Gellar-Green was 12 years old and often acted as if Emma and Bessie were here little sisters, as she was an only child. To everyone's surprise, Joey was, as he put it "incapable of producing the little buggers." It did explain how none of his girlfriends ever got pregnant though.   
"OK," he said, concerned. "I worry so much about you Mon. I really think we need to talk about it."   
Monica nodded. "How about now?" she asked. "Before it's too late."   
Chandler turned. "Yes. I think it's wise." He paused. He knew this would probably be a long conversation, but everything needed to be said. They had both avoided the conversation, mainly because the kids had always been around.   
"Chandler...I know this is scary for you. But it scares me so much more. Knowing I'll probably never see the kids grow up. Knowing I won't grow old with you. Knowing I'm going to leave you all alone. But you have to suffer my fate, and that doesn't seem fair. So...if and when it happens, I want you to try and find someone else."   
Chandler was taken aback. "Monica, I'm not even thinking about that. I'm worried about you. But I am so worried about me too. I can't look after two kids on my own."   
"You won't be on your own," said Monica, stroking his arm gently. "You've got Joey and Phoebe, Ross and Rachel...they all love us so much. And we're lucky."   
"Mon..." Chandler ignored the tears that were coming to his eyes. "Mon...I don't want to lose you. I love you so much. I'm not going to let you die. I can't."   
"Chandler, you will probably never know how much I love you," she said, tears pouring down her face. As soon as she wiped them away, a fresh lot appeared, so she gave up. "But I honestly do."   
Chandler couldn't speak. His throat was clogged up, as it often did when he was trying not to cry. He didn't want to cry, he didn't want to show Monica his tears. Yet she could already see them. She wiped them away.   
"But Monica...what happened at the hospital today? Why wouldn't you let me come with you?" he asked, pressing her. She knew he deserved to know, and, sighing, she gave him the dreadful news.   
"Chandler-I've got two months to live."   
Chandler stopped. He'd never known any woman with breast cancer-for this was the terrible disease Monica had-to only have that long to live, although he knew it had happened. He also knew a lot of women now recovered from breast cancer, but didn't know the exact statistics.   
"Two...two months?" he repeated. "You've only got two months?"   
"Chandler, I'm really sorry. All this is tiring me. I need rest if I'm going to do anything tomorrow. Merry Christmas," she said sadly, kissing him, before getting up and going into the room.   
"Yeah. Merry Christmas," he repeated bitterly.

  
_How do I,   
Get through the night without you?   
If I had to live without you,   
What kind of life would that be?   
Oh, I   
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,   
You're my world, my heart, my soul,   
If you ever leave,   
baby you would take away everything good in my life,   
and tell me now   
How do I live without you?   
I want to know,   
How do I breathe without you?   
If you ever go,   
How do I ever, ever survive?   
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?   
Without you,   
There'd be no sun in my sky,   
There would be no love in my life,   
There'd be no world left for me.   
And I,   
Baby I don't know what I would do,   
I'd be lost if I lost you,   
If you ever leave,   
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,   
And tell me now,   
How do I live without you?   
I want to know,   
How do I breathe without you?   
If you ever go,   
How do I ever, ever survive?   
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?   
Please tell me baby,   
How do I go on?   
If you ever leave,   
Baby you would take away everything,   
I need you with me,   
Baby don't you know that you're everything,   
Real in my life?   
And tell me now,   
How do I live without you,   
I want to know,   
How do I breathe without you?   
If you ever go,   
How do I ever, ever survive?   
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?   
How do I live without you?   
How do I live without you baby?   
How do I live?_

  
**CHAPTER TWO COMING SHORTLY!!!**


	2. If Tomorrow never Comes

CHAPTER TWO

  
**If tomorrow never comes**

  
**DISCLAIMER: I do not own "If tomorrow never comes" by Ronan Keating, although I had to change the words slightly.**

  
"Happy Christmas Mommy!" Emma shrieked, bouncing into Monica and Chandler's bedroom.   
Monica awoke with a start, and groaned as she turned to look at her clock. 5:35. Well, it was later than last year, at least.   
Chandler had been awake practically all night, just thinking about what Monica had told him. He had finally dozed off around 3am, but was woken at 5 by Emma and Bessie "whispering" Merry Christmas to each other. He guessed it was a way of trying to wake him and Monica without getting into trouble, and he admired their childish ways of thinking.   
"Merry Christmas Emma. Where's Bessie?" Chandler asked, reaching for his glasses.   
"Looking at the presents. Is one a mountain bike?" she asked innocently.   
Monica laughed out loud. It pleased Chandler to hear her do that, and he hoped against hope that it was a good sign.   
"Maybe. Why don't you go out and look at the presents with Bess, and let me and Daddy get up properly, OK?" she asked.   
"OK. Mwah!" she shouted, blowing them rather loud kisses, before skipping out of the bedroom.   
"God...I need pills!" Monica joked, but Chandler didn't smile.   
"Mon, don't overwork yourself today. I'll help all I can. And...I need to ask you something."   
"Yes?" she asked, pulling her dressing-gown on.   
"Well...is it at all possible that you will last...err, stay alive...longer than two months?" He paused. He didn't want to get into the conversation again, as he was sure she didn't, but he needed to know.   
Monica turned to him. "The doctor said it's possible," she said. "But unlikely. I've got a chance of living until next June, but that's about my limit. I won't overcome it. It's too far gone. I shouldn't have missed that scan..."   
"Don't blame yourself Mon! Let's cling to the hope of June. Six months together. We'll enjoy ourselves. Go back to the way we used to be. OK?"   
Monica smiled sweetly at him. "Yes. I'd like that," she said. "Like loves young dream."   
Chandler nodded. "Precisely," he said. "Now, you go out there and sit on the couch, and have a nice time watching your kids completely wreck the apartment." It was extremely helpful, the way Chandler and all her friends usually were about her illness. She made sure that they tried to forget about it whenever she was around, so she could enjoy her last few months on earth. She didn't believe in Heaven, but she did believe that there was a supernatural being somewhere "up there," watching over her. She prayed he would let her see June.   
Chandler stayed lying in his bed for a few minutes, thinking about his life so far. He was 47-a good age to be. But Monica was only 43, and she didn't deserve to die. Not yet. Thinking about it made him remember the death of his mother two years ago. However much he denied it, it had really upset him. But she had been 68-not really old, he knew, but it was a more reasonable age than Monica. She had had lung cancer, and it had made him completely stop smoking. He barely smoked anyway-Monica made sure of that-but this time he swore he would give up for good. And so far, he had done very well.   
Chandler had never prayed before, but he thought there was no harm in trying now. And it wasn't even for him. So he closed his eyes and faced the window:   
"Please, please let Monica's last months on earth be really special. I'll do all I can, but can you just, well, help a little bit too?" he asked, tears falling again. He wiped them away, and pulled his dressing gown on, before going out to the children.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
"It IS a mountain bike!" Emma squealed. "Thank you Mommy!"   
"That's OK. I knew you wanted one," said Monica, resting on the sofa. Chandler came out the bedroom and went to sit with Emma and Bessie, after smiling quickly at Monica.   
"So now you can go cycling with me and Mommy," said Chandler, trying to ignore the fact that it was highly unlikely that Monica would ever get on a bike again.   
"A dolls house!" cried Bessie. "For my Barbies. Thank you Mommy and Daddy!" She gave them both a big hug, then, being Monica's daughter, went off to find a rubbish bin. Emma was just throwing the wrapping paper everywhere, and Chandler knew that she could lose her presents under all the mess.   
"Hey, hey, Emma!" Chandler cried, catching flying paper. "Calm down, ok? Just put the paper down neatly, or even put it in the plastic sack, so I can take it downstairs later."   
"OK," Emma promised, but she soon forgot it, and Chandler ended up getting all the paper himself.   
"So, when's Ross and Rachel and Joey coming round?" Emma asked.   
"And Mona," Bessie added. "And Emma, and Ben."   
"I'm Emma!" Emma squealed in a childish voice, and they started a paper fight. All the wrapping paper fell out the sack, and even Monica couldn't help laughing.   
"Alright kids. It's still only half past six. They won't be round until 9 at least," said Monica. "I think you should start playing with the presents you have at the moment. I'll watch you. Daddy can make your breakfasts."   
Chandler nodded, realising that Monica was letting him do something for a change. He'd need the practise anyway, Monica thought numbly. Hell, she could be gone tomorrow, unlikely as it seemed.   
"So, toast all round, is it?" Chandler joked. Emma put on a sad face.   
"Want eggs." Bessie nodded, agreeing with her. "And toast," she added. "But eggs too."   
"Fried? Scrambled? In their shells?" he asked. Emma laughed. "Two fried, please," she said.   
"Can I have scrambled?" asked Bessie. Then, in six-year-old style, she changed her mind. "No, fried too please," she said. Chandler stuck his tongue out at her, and then went into the kitchen while Emma and Bessie turned to the dolls house.   
"Ken liked making eggs," Emma began. She took the part of Ken in their make-believe family. She was usually Shelly, the baby, and Skipper, the younger daughter too.   
Bessie was Barbie usually, and the "grandmother" Old Mrs Wotsherface. Monica sometimes played with them too, and the girls would make her be Old Mrs Wotsherface. But today Monica just sat and watched. She liked the way their minds thought, and it reminded her of when she was a kid.   
"But then Barbie came in. 'Oh No, Kenneth, you're spoiling the eggs,"' Bessie cried. "'Don't do that!' Then she went over and showed Ken how to do the eggs properly."   
Monica laughed. It was a play on something that had happened three weeks ago, when Chandler had forgotten to put the oil in and had instead used lard. Monica had not been a "happy bunny" as Bessie put it.   
"Then Skipper came in. 'Hello Daddy,' Skipper cried, as she gave Ken a hug. 'I got a bike today. Come and see!"'   
Emma then took Ken and Skipper outside the house and to the Barbie Bike, which had come with Skipper when they bought her ages ago.   
"'Wow, that's a lovely bike,' Ken said."   
Bessie had Barbie in the kitchen, and made her fall over. "'Ow,' Barbie cried. 'I don't feel very well."'   
Monica tensed. She guessed what was happening now. Without realising, Emma and Bessie were acting out exactly what happened those three weeks ago, apart from the mountain bike part, and other little bits. But she couldn't stop them playing.   
"'I'll have to go to the doctor,' Barbie said. 'You know he said I had to go in if anything was wrong.'"   
Monica couldn't watch anymore. She excused herself, and went into the bathroom to get ready. She decided that the girls would have to be told. It wouldn't be fair to just leave them, and them grow up knowing that their mother never told them what was really wrong with her.   
She looked at herself in the mirror. "Come on Monica, pull yourself together. If not for you, for Chandler and the girls," she told herself.

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
Chandler spent the afternoon sitting with his friends. They all now counted Mona as part of the gang. Monica sat with them too. The girls, Emma, Emma and Bessie, were all at the park with Ben.   
"I can't believe how old Ben is now," Monica said suddenly. "He's 17 now." (A.N: I know he would really be 19, but then he wouldn't be with them at Christmas so I'm making him younger.)   
"I know. It's scary," Joey mused. "But how are you, Monica?"   
Monica wriggled. "I'm not any worse," she admitted. "But I will get worse. And..." she paused, looking at Chandler. "I think Emma and Bessie need to know."   
Chandler just looked at her. He guessed that she wanted to tell them, so he wasn't surprised. "Do you think that's a good idea?" he asked her quietly.   
"Yes. But not today," she said, realising that that wouldn't be fair on the girls. It was Christmas day, and they didn't need telling yet. "After New Year. They need to know, Chandler, or they could hate me for not telling them. And I wouldn't want that, even if I was dead."   
"Monica, please don't talk like that. I wish I could be ill instead of you. You had such a good life ahead of you," said Rachel.   
"So do you. We all do. I wouldn't wish this on any of us. We all used to have such a good time!" Monica smiled. It was like a reunion. No more laughter anymore though. Things were serious. No more jokes. She really missed that.   
"OK. I guess we do have to tell them sooner or later," said Chandler. "After New Year though."   
"Yes," Monica nodded. "OK."   
All the Friends joined together for one big group hug. Monica sighed happily. At least she had friends.

  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
"'Night Chandler," said Monica, kissing him softly. But he was already asleep. She didn't want to wake him. She just lay there, watching him as he slept ever so peacefully.

  
_Sometimes late at night   
I lie awake and watch him sleeping   
He's lost in peaceful dreams so I turn out the light   
Lay there in the dark   
And the thought crosses my mind   
If I never wake in the morning   
Would he ever doubt the way I feel about him in my heart   
If tomorrow never comes   
Would he know how much I love him   
Did I try in every way   
To show him every day   
He's my only one   
And if my time on earth were through   
He must face this world without me   
Is the love I gave him in the past   
Gonna be enough to last   
If tomorrow never comes._

  
Monica soon fell asleep too, dreaming of that marvellous day. One she would almost certainly never see again.

  
**CHAPTER THREE COMING SOON.**


	3. In your Dreams

Chapter 3

  
**In your Dreams: Chapter Three**

  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters from Friends, but this time I DO own the song, written just for this chapter. I know there's no tune, but I will have to write one for my music GCSE. This could help me a lot...

  
**1st January**

  
My last year alive, Monica thought. This will be the last New Year I see. And I still can't believe it.   
She glanced at the calendar, and smiled as she read the month: "Januwary." It was a calendar that Emma had made for her at school. Bessie had been allowed to make something else, as Monica would have little use for two calendars.   
She groaned as she remembered what today meant. Today was the day that she and Chandler had agreed to tell Bessie and Emma exactly what was happening. She wasn't looking forward to it at all, but she knew it needed to happen.   
"Happy New Year," she said quietly, the words passing her lips one last time.

  
**********

  
"What's this all about?" asked Emma, as they sat down with her and Bessie.   
"It's about something that's going to happen in the next few months," Monica said gently. "Darlings, you know how much Daddy and I love you. And we'll always be there for you. No matter what."   
Emma looked at Bessie. "Oh, it's one of THOSE talks," she sighed. Monica grew annoyed, but tried not to show it.   
"Honey, this is really important. I wanted to tell you what I'm about to tell you because I love you, and I know how grown-up you are."   
Bessie nodded. She seemed to realise it really was important. Emma looked bored, and started to loll about on the sofa.   
"There's no easy way to say this," Chandler continued, his voice catching slightly. "But...Mommy's sick."   
"I know," said Emma. "That's why you're always at the doctors. Can I go and play now?"   
Monica looked at Chandler.   
"I'm dying," she said suddenly, wishing as soon as she said it that she hadn't. It at least made them sit up.   
"Dying?" asked Bessie, only half-believing her. "Like, when you die?"   
"Yes, sweetie," said Chandler, hugging Bessie and Emma. Both had started to cry.   
"The only reason I decided we should tell you was because I thought you would be grown-up enough to know," said Monica, crying too. "Hug me, dears."   
Bessie came over and hugged her mother. "Emma, come hug Mommy," she said.   
But Emma wouldn't leave Chandler. Monica thought this might have happened, and it broke heart. She wiped her nose with a hanky, and held Bessie close.   
"Mommy, I don't want you to die," Bessie sobbed. Then she whispered: "Emma doesn't either. I think she's scared."   
Monica laughed, in spite of herself. Bessie was still crying, and Emma still had her face buried in Chandlers chest. Monica was worried that she had now ruined things between her and Emma.   
"Emma...don't you want to hug your mum?" Chandler asked. Emma ignored him, and Chandler carried her into her bedroom, presumably to talk to her, Monica thought.   
"Bessie, listen to me for a minute, sweetheart," Monica said, producing a chain from around her neck. "When I've gone, and you're with Daddy and Emma, and you feel a little alone, or you want someone to talk to, hold tightly onto this and think of me, and you can talk to me in your head. And I promise you, I will always reply. No matter what."   
"How long are you going to live for?" Bessie asked.   
Monica thought back to the previous week, when she had seen her doctor. "I've got five months, darling. In June, my doctor thinks. Six months is quite a lot, and I'll see your seventh birthdays! Hopefully."   
Bessie nodded, her voice catching. "I love you Mommy. And Emma does too."   
"I know she does," said Monica, rocking her little daughter on her lap. "I love her too. I hope she knows that."   
There was a knock at the front door. "Come in," Monica called, still holding Bessie.   
The door opened and Rachel and Joey came in. "Just us," they said. "Coming to see how the kids are."   
"Emma's not taken it very well. She seems to be ignoring me," Monica admitted. "And Bessie is OK. She'll be fine once I've talked to her a bit longer."   
Rachel nodded. "I'm sorry about Emma," she said, coming round to the couch and sitting with them. "Do you want me to go talk to her?"   
"Chandler's with her. You could try," said Monica doubtfully.   
"Right," Rachel said, getting up. "I'm going in!" She was trying to make Bessie laugh, but Monica was positive that she hadn't heard Rachel.   
"Hey Bess," said Joey. "Look, I'll always be here for you. And your Dad will too. We love you so much, you know that right?"   
Bessie looked up. "I...I love you too Joey," she said, gulping. "But I'm...I'm gonna miss Mommy so much."   
"I know. Hush," said Monica, as she started hyperventilating. She gazed up at Joey sadly. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea.

  
*******

  
The sound of gentle snoring soothed Monica. She smiled as she remembered Emma, coming out of the bedroom earlier that day, and how she had gone straight to Monica and hugged her tightly, sobbing how sorry she was for ignoring her. And Monica had forgiven her on the spot. She knew how hard it was for a child to take it all in. And as she had kissed her, and held her, she realised how much her family was going to miss her.   
She sighed as she drew the curtains. Tonight was the first evening of the New Year-her last year on earth, for certain now. Apparently, there was no doubt about it, however much her doctor had wanted there to be. He had taken off his glasses sadly, looked at her and told her straight. It was certain. She would be dead within the next seven months, and that would only be if she was extremely lucky.   
All she prayed for was the chance to see her daughters' seventh birthday. Then she would be able to rest in peace.

  
_No matter where I go,   
I'll always be there in your heart   
You'll never be alone:   
I'll be here to show the way   
Through the darkness and the storms,   
You will find me there   
And though the winds may hinder my journey,   
I'll be there some day:_

  
CHORUS   
Never mind what the people say   
There's an afterlife here today   
Never mind what the bible reads,   
I always be there   
In your dreams.

  
You'll meet some other friends,   
But they may or may not let you down,   
But you'll always have me,   
I'll be there just call my name   
Though some people might say no,   
You'll know it's the truth   
And if you think and try hard enough   
Your love for me will be the same

  
CHORUS

  
I never knew what true love was really like   
Till I found someone like you to show me what   
Now I've got family, friends to guide the way   
I'm about to die: You're all I've got   
And I'll always Love You:

  
CHORUS

  
**Only two more chapters to go people...keep reading. They're gonna get sadder. Sorry.**


	4. The One with NO Main Song

Chapter Four

  
The One without a Song

  
**Disclaimer: This one, being the **hopefully** tear-jerker, does not have a song, out of respect. If that makes sense. Anyway, I think this is the penultimate chapter. Hankies at the ready. Oh-and I don't own any of the characters from Friends. There is a song in this fic, but only because Emma and Bessie are singing it.**

  
~May~

  
It was the twins' seventh birthday, and even though Monica was bed-ridden, they spent as much time as possible with her. Chandler had moved their bed into the lounge for her last weeks on earth; much as it pained him, knowing she would probably never see their bedroom again.   
She had told him that she wanted to die at home. No matter how ill she got, she wanted to breathe her last in the apartment she loved most. Chandler had to promise her not to call the ambulance, no matter how ill she got.   
She could barely talk, but Chandler could still understand her. Emma had become a lot closer to her in the past few months, and Monica had appreciated it. She was still all there inside and it broke her heart when her friends stopped calling round to see her. She guessed that they were embarrassed. She hadn't seen Rachel for three weeks, and it killed her.   
But they were all there that day, on Emma and Bessie's birthday. And Monica smiled inside as she looked round. Her bed was where the sofa usually was, facing the dining room table. Everyone was sitting around it, talking, apart from the two girls who were lying with Monica, talking to her, knowing she understood them, even if she couldn't reply easily.   
"Come and blow out your candles, girls," Chandler called. "There are 14, your ages combined."   
Emma and Bessie kissed Monica on the cheek. "Happy Birthday." She said weakly, reaching out and holding their hands.   
"Thanks Mom," they replied simultaneously. Then they went over to the dining table, making sure Monica could see what they were doing still.   
"Happy Birthday to you," sang Joey, and Bessie giggled a little. Emma still looked upset, and Chandler joked that her tears were putting the candles out.   
"It's not funny," cried Emma, but even she laughed when Rachel came and tickled her. Monica smiled again. She knew that Bessie and Emma were in good hands. No matter what happened to her, her friends would be there for her children. Her babies.   
"I love you," she whispered hoarsely, before falling asleep.

  
******

  
"I hope the girls are ok," Rachel said as she went into the apartment. "When we left they were with Monica."   
"Once they've got over it, they'll surprise us," Joey replied, surprisingly wisely. "I can see bright things in their future."   
"Are you turning into Phoebe?" Rachel laughed, but Joey didn't join her. He looked serious, for the first time ever, Rachel thought solemnly.   
"Honest, Rache. I do feel sorry for those two girls, but they have Chandler. And us. And Jack and Judy, and however much Chandler denies it, they'll have his parents too."   
"I guess," said Rachel. "I love those girls as much as I love Monica. I would hate for them to suffer as much as I know they will."   
Joey went over to Rachel and put his arms around her. "Rache, we'll be there for them. Remember that," he said. "I love them as much as you do." Maybe more, he thought silently to himself.   
Rachel nodded. "I'm going to miss Monica so much," she said, crying. "She's my best friend Joe. Except you."   
Joey nodded, understanding.

  
********

  
"And then, when we blew out the candles, Joey lit them all again and blew them out, and his hair caught fire!" Emma laughed, nearly falling off the bed.   
"Brilliant," Monica whispered. Bessie laughed too, and then she looked at Monica. "Are you tired, Mommy?" she asked.   
"A little."   
"Do you want us to go?"   
"No, dears. That's why..." She started coughing.   
"Mommy wanted her bed moved into the lounge so she could spend as much time with you as possible. Stay in here with her," Chandler finished, putting his arm round Monica's shoulders.   
"OK," said Bessie. She kissed Monica. "I love you Mommy. So much."   
"I love you both. More than you'll ever know," said Monica, hugging her girls close. "Now why don't you sing for me? I love to listen to you sing, my children."   
"Yay!" said Bessie, jumping up with Emma. "What shall we sing, Mom?"   
"Sing that song you sang at the concert. The one Daddy videoed," said Monica, trying to sit up but failing.   
"What, 'Hero?"' asked Emma. "OK."   
Bessie and Emma had done a duet at the "choir" concert because they had exceptional voices. They had got it from Monica. She had been able to sing like a nightingale at one point. Now her beautiful voice was lost, along with most of her once beautiful features.   
Emma set the CD player up, and they got into position.

  
Emma:_There's a Hero   
If you look inside your heart   
You don't have to be afraid   
Of what you are_   
Bessie: _There's an answer   
If you reach into your soul,   
And the sorrow that you know   
Will melt away_

  
Emma + Bessie:_ And then a Hero comes along,   
With the strength to carry on   
And you cast your fears aside   
And you know you can survive,   
So when you feel like hope is gone,   
Look inside you and be strong,   
And you'll finally see the truth   
That a hero lies in you._

  
They stopped then. Monica couldn't hide the tears. She felt like a coward, but Chandler thought she was extremely brave. He couldn't have spent all of his last days with his family. He would have wanted to be by himself, to think by himself, and to just cry. But Monica had a brave face, up until that point.   
"It's beautiful," said Monica. "I love you too so much."   
Chandler motioned for them to leave the room, just for a minute. He sensed, though he wasn't sure why, that her days were nearly up.   
"Night Mommy," said Bessie, kissing her forehead. "I love you so much, Mom."   
Chandler stayed with her until the morning, kissing her hand. She just kept staring at him, every now and again trying to say something.   
"It's ok," said Chandler, crying hard. "I know. Monica, I love you so much, I really do."   
She finally fell asleep at 3am, and Chandler knew that she wouldn't re-awake.   
When the girls awoke, they saw Chandler standing in their room. His eyes were red from crying. They could hear someone in the next room.   
"Bessie. Emma. Mommy died last night."

  
**EPILOGUE COMING SOON. I know I finished it weirdly, but I didn't want it to hang about. That's not the way I wanted it to be-really really soppy. Anyway, the next part after her death will be posted soon. Please read and review.**


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